Article:
Girlfriends, Stop Being Pitiful About Your Career!
By Sue Frederick, author of Dancing at Your Desk
Girlfriends, don’t get your feelings hurt when I tell you this: Most of us are “pitiful” when it comes to thinking about our careers. There are many amazing and powerful business women in the world (and I’m blessed to know several of them). However, when I speak to groups of business women I’m reminded of how limited our thinking can be.
It’s not completely our fault. But that doesn’t matter. Most of us have been “programmed” to think small from the time we were little – by culture and parents. Our mission is to break through that limited thinking and become our greatest, most powerful selves. This breakthrough starts inside of us.
Here’s an example: A man and woman with similar backgrounds both apply for the same job. During salary negotiation, the man exaggerates his previous successes (because honestly that’s how he thinks of them) and the woman downplays hers (because that’s how she thinks of them). The man gets the job even though the woman would have been twice as brilliant and worked twice as hard.
Or, they’re both hired. But the man demands and gets a better starting salary and benefits plan. Later, they compare notes and the woman is horrified. She feels she has been treated unfairly. She has. But she created it with her “pitiful” thinking.
The way we’re treated by others has everything to do with our own internal thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Remember, the unseen world creates the seen world. We are vibrating, pulsing beings sending out messages 24 hours a day and these messages have little to do with the words we speak. Everyone and everything around us is constantly reacting to our vibration – which comes from our thoughts, beliefs and feelings.
If you’re even slightly intimidated by the world of business, finance or career – you’ve already lost the battle - because everyone feels it.
Here’s another example: A man and a woman start similar businesses. The woman decides to start hers with a small “pitiful” loan from her wealthy Uncle. She’s afraid of going too far in debt and doesn’t want to do anything “foolish.” As a result of not having enough funding to launch her business correctly (with proper marketing, PR, advertising and staffing) her business does not generate the sales it needs to succeed. She gives up the business within a year. She creates a negative belief around that failure that then hinders her ability to try again. Instead, she goes back to working for someone else and following someone else’s dream.
The man goes to a bank, finds investors, exaggerates his potential future profits and walks away with generous funding – enough to do major advertising, marketing, PR and staffing. Within a year, he has met his sales goals and his investors are pleased. He gets more money. Five years later he’s so successful that his business has expanded beyond expectations and he’s on his way to financial freedom. He’ll never work for a “boss” again.
The problem is twofold:
- Women tend to dream “small” because they don’t want to be “greedy” and they really want to help people. That’s wonderful. Men need more of that generosity. But at the end of the day, who can help the world more? A successful millionaire who donates money and starts non-profit organizations for worthy causes? Or a barely making ends meet, overworked corporate executive? Think of Oprah as a great example of someone who is doing good in the world because she had a huge dream and made it happen.
- Women are filled to the brim with negative beliefs about money and career, and they’re not even aware that they have these tapes running through their heads. Examples: I don’t want to do anything foolish with my money; I don’t want to make a fool of myself; I don’t want people to think I’m being (fill in the blank); I don’t understand enough about running my own business to be successful; I’m an artist and artists don’t make big money; I love helping people and people who do good things in the world rarely make good money at it; I didn’t really manage that big project on my own - I had lots of good people helping me; If I save all my money from the job I hate, I can retire in 10 years and then I’ll do what I want to do; I’m not smart enough, good enough, worthy enough, powerful enough…. Blah blah blah …pitiful thinking.
Until we recognize these negative beliefs running through our minds 24 hours a day and sabotaging us – we are powerless to turn them around.
Here are 5 steps to un-pitiful career thinking:
- Think like a man. Don’t go overboard with this. But adding a bit of testosterone to your mindset will jumpstart you into a new paradigm. It’s just so darn natural for men to feel successful in the world that they’re used to vibrating success energy wherever they go. Women are so used to playing it small that we have to work very hard to turn that pitiful vibration around. If you want your life to be better than it’s been, it’s worth the effort of turning around your pitiful thinking about career and money. For example, if you’re applying for a sales job, tell them you EXCELLED at your past job and you’re capable of doing ANYTHING you put your mind to - in spite of the voices in your head that doubt that. (Quiet those voices with: “I have always been as powerful and successful as … name someone you admire.”)
- Understand with every fiber of your being that the unseen world creates the seen world. Your thoughts, beliefs and emotions pulse from you to interact with all external circumstances. (Read Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Lynne McTaggert to get your mind around this.) Yes, the economy is tough and yes … blah blah blah. But your success depends entirely on the internal stream of thoughts and beliefs that you’re mostly not aware of. You are NEVER a victim - no matter how it looks in the seen world.
- Dream much much much bigger! If you want to start a business, chances are huge that you’re aiming too small. Thinking of a small coffee shop? Why not think of a huge nationwide chain of coffee shops? The bigger the dream, the more excited we get and investors get; and the greater the money flow towards our dream. Most dreams fail because they’re too “pitiful” and they can’t attract enough energy (money) to make them successful. And if you’re applying for a job, why aren’t you applying for the management job or the top position? Listen hard to your answer. Is it pitiful thinking that’s stopping you? If so, turn that belief around.
- Don’t EVER get your feelings hurt. It’s a waste of your time and energy, and it sabotages your success and happiness. I’m not saying it’s bad to be “sensitive.” In fact, being sensitive means you’re powerfully telepathic and can pick up thoughts and emotions from other people. Everyone’s unspoken thoughts and feelings are clearly registered in the quantum field for anyone to see. (Read Joe Dispenza, Fred Allan Wolf or William Tiller). Yes, that person over there may be thinking rude thoughts about you. But get over it! That’s their issue not yours. It doesn’t matter a hoot. Insensitive men have the benefit of not even being aware of other people’s thoughts or feelings. Your task is to BECOME the love and acceptance that you want from others. When it’s generating out from you, you won’t notice what anyone else is doing.
- And finally, here’s the gift that you already have and don’t use often enough. MAKE IT FUN! That’s your natural instinct even though you may have toned it down to succeed “in a man’s world.” Forget that! That’s pitiful thinking. We women know how to laugh and play and enjoy ourselves. That’s a huge gift. From the perspective of quantum physics, if you’re having fun your energy is good. And that means you’re sending out very powerful vibrations that attract success and happiness – in spite of how dire your circumstances may look. This is why girlfriends get together and laugh - no matter what. We innately understand this! Use this feminine gift to your advantage in the business world. Make people laugh, spread the fun. This great energy will come back to you all wrapped up as SUCCESS!
